Encountering God Fully Surrendered

I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was a Sunday morning and a beautiful day in the city of Corona, California.

I entered the large sanctuary with both pain and a hope in my heart of encountering God. The night before I prayed a prayer of surrender, a prayer that would set me up to encounter God in a way I never had.

I was 25 and hadn’t known Christ for too long. A year before, I had prayed the sinner’s prayer but my heart was not fully surrendered. My relationship with God was more of a “trial basis”. I was a young woman who was hurt by all that I had endured during my childhood and teenage years.  I lacked trust in people and because of this, I didn’t fully trust God. Calling him Jesus made God too personal and so I called him God, attempting to shield myself from intimacy and let down.

A year later there I stood, a broken semi-Christian.

I was living with an abusive man to whom I was not married to, and though I thought that having a great new BMW and a beautiful new home would fix all of our problems, I quickly found out that success didn’t fix a hurting heart or a broken spirit.

 

I was in pain and I had reached my breaking point.

 

Up until that point in life, I tried it ALL: men, money, alcohol, travel, fun and even dabbled with new age spirituality, but nothing worked..at least not long term.

It all just served as a temporary escape from the pain of my present and past.

 

So when I again found myself feeling empty after yet another argument with my then boyfriend (who would soon become my husband, and then ex-husband… I’ll save that story for another post), I finally caved in and prayed to Jesus, specifically, and I asked him to help me.

The next day I went to a local church seeking the answer to my continuous pain, and there I found and accepted Jesus into my heart… genuinely.

I still remember the answer I gave to the woman’s question who sat with me after I accepted Jesus.

“Why did you accept Jesus?” she asked.

I broke down crying and in between sobs I managed to answer,

 

“Because I am tired.”

And I was.

 

I was tired of trying to do things my way.

I was tired of trying to fix my life with different things, people and titles.

I was tired of the constant hopelessness.

I was tired of living in FEAR.

And I was tired not knowing what LOVE truly was.

 

All the things that kept me in a continuous cycle of wrong choices.

But after that moment I knew things were going to change.

 

Fully Surrendered is how I came to the point of encountering God.

Fully Surrendered is how I encourage you to go to the feet of Jesus.

He is the one who has the answer your spirit longs to find.

<3 Ruby E. Dieguez

 

 

 

 

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13 comments

  1. Powerful testimony honey! You have shared it with me in the past but your testimony takes on a different life-form in a written format. Thanks for sharing your story with the world. I am sure there are people out there right now who can relate and are feeling “tired” as well.

    Love,

    David

    Reply
  2. My GOD,my GOD, my GOD. Ruby, BEAUTIFULLY written. I love your transparency. Oh my Ruby, this is such a great platform GOD has givin you. I’m excited n so proud of this moment. I love you.

    Reply
  3. Perhaps, you were born for such a time as this. Ruby, I am incredibly proud of you for stepping out in faith to write publicly. God has gifted you to share truth on this platform and he is going to use your testimony to reach many people.

    Reply
    1. Thank you my sister from another mister. You have been a constant supporter of my writing and such an encouragement to me. I love our friendship and I love that we each get to journey together towards our specific God mandates.

      Reply
  4. I truly believe that God puts the right people in our paths for a reason. Little did I know that last Sunday I’d be helping at Starting Point and meeting you. Just the little you share and me feeling comfortable opening up, you gave me hope of a happily ever after. I look forward to hearing your powerful testimony.

    Reply
  5. Wow Ruby! I’m in awe with your testimony and just to think what a long way you’ve come, and will go! Knowing you since Elementary school and not knowing what a treasure You really are! I love how God has a purpose in each of us, and you my dear friend has found hers! Give us more of You! Love you!

    Reply

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